About Me
Written in 2011
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Who Am I
Am I the reflection in the mirror that I see looking back at me
Or am I the limitless spirit that is within screaming to break free
Am I just another poor girl in a wheelchair with a disability they see
Or am the unique soul that God put me on this earth to be
Am I paralyzed by the fear of discrimination, judgment and uncertainty
Or am I the worrier who will fight until the end to create her own destiny
Will my life be defined by the reflection I see looking back at me
Or will I allow my spirit to break free and unveil the real me for all to see
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THIS POEM WAS WRITTEN BY: SUZANNE BROUSSARD
Copyright © 2010-2013 SUZANNE, All Rights Reserved
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A few years ago, I was watching a movie in which Kate Winslet uttered the words that
express exactly how I feel in the depth of my soul, “It is a hunger for an alternative and
the refusal to accept a life of unhappiness”. I hunger for an alternative to a life
bounded by the invisible threads of regulations and ignorance because I am living on the
inside of a disability looking out at a world that is still so unjust to those of us with
physical challenges. The United States of America is the richest country in the world,
filled with knowledge and opportunities but when it comes to physical disabilities this
country is very uneducated and lacks opportunities. I can choose to sit back passively
in my wheelchair and let society and the government tell me how to live my life or I can
choose to be proactive and stand up for what I believe in. For the last thirteen years,
I have tried sitting quietly at home like thousands of other disabled individuals because
that is what our society today eventually forces most of us to do, but I know in my heart
and soul that this is not who I am and not the way I want to live the rest my life. I do
not want to let who I am be defined by people on the outside looking in. Since I was
young, I have always believed that I was given a chance at life on this earth for a reason
other than to be a daughter, a sister, an aunt or a burden on society. I am here to be
true to myself and follow my heart.
My name is Suzanne and I was born with a disability called Cerebral Palsy. Cerebral Palsy
is a condition that is the result of lack of oxygen to a certain part of the brain usually
during birth. When I was born on January 18, 1971, something happened that caused me not
to breathe for 5 minutes or more. I am still not certain of the details of what happen on
that day because my mom’s doctor knocked her out completely during the delivery because he
knew that I was going to be born breach. After I was born, the doctor told my dad that
the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck when I came out but he thought that I would
be fine. Because the doctor said that I was fine, my parents did not think to ask any
questions. For the next two years of my life, doctors told my parents month after month
that I was just a late developer. When I was three years old, my parents finally found
out that I was slow at developing because I had Cerebral Palsy.
There are different severities of Cerebral Palsy but fortunately the only part of my brain
that was damaged was my motor skills, balance and a little of my speech. The damage to my
motor skills causes me to move slowly with jerky movement instead of quick and smoothly.
The damage also causes my muscles to have constant tightness and my balance to be unsteady
which makes it difficult to stand up without assistance. I also have difficulty doing
simple tasks with my hands, for instance gripping a zipper to zip up my pants. My speech
was affected but I am blessed because I can speak clear enough that most people do not
have a problem understanding me after they get familiar the way I pronounce my words.
I pronounce words different and slower than other people do. It is like someone that has
a strong accent and it takes a little while to get use to. Despite the obstacles in my
life, I feel fortunate because I have had a good life and my condition could have been
much worse.
I had a pretty normal childhood except I crawled everywhere instead of walking and had
more physical difficulties than other children. My parents were great and never really
treated me different. They had to fight for me to be able to attend public school because
at that time the school board was not used to disabled children going to public schools.
Thanks to my parents, I was able to attend public school and graduate from high school.
After high school, I went on to college with the financial assistance of Vocational
Rehabilitation Services. I tried to keep up in college but it was very difficult because
I was required to go full time in order to keep my financial assistance. With my
disability, I am unable to write so I would type all of my work for each of my classes
including algebra and accounting. Because I type slowly, I would stay up until about
2:00am everyday and be up by 7:00am for class. I also had to study from other people's
notes, which was a challenge because other people always take notes different than I would.
After three and a half years of college, I was completely burnt out and decided to quit
and go to a technical school for computer specialist. Technical school went at a slower
pace and I was able to earn my computer specialist certificate in one year. When I
finished my schooling is when my life no longer felt normal.
As soon as I graduated from technical school, I started going out into the real world in
search of employment. I signed up for assistance with finding employment with my
technical school, Goodwill's employment program, the career center at the college that I
had attended and with an agency in my home town that is suppose to help disabled people
find employment. None of these agencies tried to help me very much. The only person that
ever really encouraged me and advised me on searching for employment was my computer
teacher at technical school. I will never forget him because he believed in me because he
knew what I could do. He helped me compose a resume and a letter to send to about fifty
government agencies around the country but they all replied that they did not have any
computer positions that I qualified for at the time. I then applied for a state government
computer position that was in the local paper and I thought I would be qualified for.
Part of the application for the position involved taking a test on my computer knowledge.
I was one of the three applicants that scored the highest on the test and was called back for
an interview. My interview went well but they said that one of the duties of the position
was answering the phone and because of my speech problem that would be difficult. I went
on a few more interviews but never received a call back. Then I went to an interview at a
small computer business that four men had just started. One of the owners of the computer
business was a man that I attended technical school with. He had witnessed the quality of
work that I did in class and wanted to give me a chance at employment. After the
interview, I was told that I could begin in about two weeks and they would allow me to do
my work at home most of the time. I was so excited because it seemed like the perfect job
for me. Then I received a message that the other three owners changed their minds and no
longer wanted to hire me for the position. I think that they were just uneasy about
employing a disabled person and worried about the security of the confidential database
programs that I would have been working on at home. This was my breaking point after two
year of giving it my all searching for employment in the real world.
After I did not get the position at the computer business, I lost my confidence and
determination. Over the two-year period of trying one avenue after another and being
turned away time after time, I eventually gave up and I let rejection get the best of me.
Since 1998, I have not looked for employment. I am now 40 and stuck at home often
wondering what would have happened if I had kept fighting for a chance at employment.
Since I made the choice not to continue pursuing a chance at employment, I have slowly
gotten myself caught up in the web of government assistance that I am now struggling to
find a way out of. After completing my schooling, I no longer had the financial support
of Vocational Rehabilitation Services to pay for my rent and attendant care. This meant
that I would either have to return to my parent’s home and give up on my dream of being
independent or find some kind of financial assistance with rent and attendant care. I
spent months desperately searching for assistance before I found out about the Office Of
Developmental Disorders and housing assistance. The Office Of Developmental Disorders
assisted me with 2 hours per day of attendant care and placed my name on the waiting list
for the government waiver program for disabled individuals and the elderly. The housing
assistance program stated that they could not be of help to me. It was not until I wrote
a letter to my congressman that they soon changed their minds and decided that they would
be able to assist me with part of my rent after all. After years of being on government
assistance I am still fighting to find a way out of this web because one of my
dreams has always been to become self-sufficient and be financially able to help other
individuals that are in need.
Even though I do not enjoy being on government assistance, I love my life today. I am
living as independently as possible, I am in a wonderful relationship with a very loving
and understanding fiancé and I have the greatest family in the whole world. Presently,
my goal is to strive toward financial independence by doing what I love to do. This is my
reason behind creating Pixel Designs By Destiny. I love both helping people and working
with graphics.
Update: Written in 2013
A few months after I started my graphics designing business and launched my website in 2011,
my fiancé and best friend, Peter, suddenly passed away from an aortic aneurism. As you can imagine,
this unbelievable event in my life set my business back for over a year. Though it is still hard sometimes,
I now realize that I cannot give up on my dreams and I must push on for my own sanity. Peter has forever
changed my life in so many ways within just a few years. He taught me that dreams do come true and to live
life for today. Although he is physically gone, I know he is still around. My promise to him is that as long
as I am alive on this earth his loving spirit and passion for life will always live on in my heart. Like myself, Peter
always possessed a passion for helping individuals and animals in need. Peter’s heart gave out much to soon but I
will always keep his kind, loving, spirit alive through my work. In the loving memory of Peter, I am setting up my own
program called PETER’S HEART LIVES ON. With this program I am going to use 100% of all donations given to
Pixel Designs By Destiny and 50% of all profits from items purchased in the FAIRYLAND section of my website
(coming soon) to help the physically disabled, individuals and animals that are in need. This program is included
with the 10% of my profits from all other products and services that I have been using to assist the physically disabled,
individuals and animals that are in need since I first started my graphics designing business. Thank you all so much for
your support in helping me to keep Pete’s heart living on.
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THIS WEBSITE WAS DESIGNED BY:
PIXEL DESIGNS BY DESTINY
Copyright © 2011-2013 Pixel Designs By Destiny, All Rights Reserved
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